If I decide to die

If I decide to die,
Will you come to say me goodbye?
If I decide to fly,
Will you come to ask me why.?

I don’t know when this feeling started,
As days passed I felt departed.

Many were there at the start of the race
Making me realise that I was not the only
Family ,friends, realtives and their beautiful prays
Far they left, Now that I turn back, I feel lonely.

Dreams I saw, I always tried to chase,
Things were good then came the unexpected phase.

Slowly, slowly.!! Everything disappeared,
When I looked around you were the only one who appeared.
Having faith in you which kept me going,
Untill you left and the river stopped flowing.

Jobs went out in the name of Recession.
You opted out by my act of Aggression.
Now I can’t hold back my thoughts of Suppression.
I will quit the world with the phrase of depression.

Once trust and love nurtured in these pot,
Now it can be seen just an empty slot.

As am writing, something is stopping me from inside,
Don’t Quit.!! There’s nothing to cry.
I remember your words, which once you said sitting beside,
Don’t Quit.!! Give another try.

I should not expect, there is no word such called sympathy.
The only way to survive has the key word apathy.

Life is so cruel.!! I should go with its flow,
Defeating the pain again I will glow.
Recalling your words again I will try,
Promise you ; I will never cry.

Feeling your presence as you were there with me all this while, Looking at your picture, felling your essence which always makes me smile.

Now I know If I decide to fly, You will always be there to ask me why.!!

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10 thoughts on “If I decide to die

    1. Thank you!! And I am sorry that I made you cry. Actually whatever I write, it comes from within and from the phase I am going through or went through.. this piece was one of it’s kind. 🙂 I was unemployed then, No faith , no hopes .. I was struggling, and then came she with her grace who carried me aloft from the pain and depression I was in. For a fact I knew then if I decide to die, she will always be there to ask me why.. but I am not sure now if that’s possible.;)

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      1. Please don’t be sorry for anything. I can truly understand how tough it is for you to go through all these. But, sometimes life keeps testing us… Destiny wants to make us strong enough to face all the worst possible. I know you going through the toughest time of your life. But I suggest to look beyond all that happened and thank her for all the beautiful memories she gave you, now when you cannot get back to how things were in the past.. Live your present with memories and stop thinking that death is the only solution. Death is peaceful only when have one of the toughest life.. Life is struggle to death. Now that you are an amazing AMAZING writer and all this is because of her presence in your life so just think she gave you a beautiful gift and left.. Moving on is tough but moving on is life. Happiness is life. Stay blessed. Do smile. 🙂

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      2. 🙂 yeah… Thank you!! I do adore her and I am thankful to her. I am not thinking about death, I did once cursed myself and destiny but now I have nurtured with the fact and I am ok.. I am just trying to write things how I feel and how I was once .. but I am positive and thankful now.

        Liked by 1 person

  1. She brought hope, her grace embraced you, she pulled you out of depression… She now made you a writer. All these are the gifts.. She gave you in the past.. And she is still giving. Please be happy for that. I know its very tough to move on but thats all you have. Smile for her. She might not be there to support you if you are in trouble or she might now ask you why do want to die, but she will surely smile if you are happy. She will surely know if you are happy, you both are connected through heart. Imagine how tough it would be for her to face a new life with another guy in whom she must be searching you. Accept the present.
    ‘Strings get detached but it takes time to untangle them’
    Struggle to tangle them, life will be easy.

    Liked by 1 person

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